I am Not One of Those Women

Eiffel Tower

I have much pride in my achieved roles.

Achieved roles are those which we acquire on the basis of merit – this position is earned or chosen.

These achieved roles reflect my skill, ability and/or effort.

I also love some of my ascribed statuses.

This is something we’re born into, or have no control over. No choice or effort.


Regarding my newly ascribed status:

I’m not one of those women for whom you march or donate in October.
I’m not a “cancer survivor.”

I’m not a “Pink Warrior.”


I’m a Wife.

I’m a Mom. (Albeit a failure on some days)

I’m Irish.

I’m a Christian.

I’m a Friend.

I’m a Social Studies Teacher. I’m an Educator.

I’m a Traveler.

I’m a Volleyball Coach.

I’m a Track and Field Coach.

I Work Hard.

I’m Fit.

I’m Healthy.

I’m a Heavy Lifter. I play with kettlebells for fun (and suffering).

I’m an Avid Reader.

I’m an Optimist and simultaneously a Realist.

I have a Growth Mindset.

I’m a Problem Solver.

I’m wildly Honest.

I cast a wide net and Love many – in a manner that is entirely my own.

I’m a crazy Left-Wing Liberal.

I’m Informed.

I’m an Introvert, who presents on occasion as an Extrovert. (this can be exhausting)

I’m a Dog Lover. (I’d love cats as well if my husband wasn’t allergic)

I’m a Hawkeye Fan.


But. I’m not One.of.Those.Women.


So, this is a really real thing. I’m not inflating my sentiments.

To fold this new person into my identity has been impossible.

I don’t want people to pity me.

We all know the look. I get it day after day.


I actually don’t want to march with anyone in October.

I don’t want to wear pink. In fact, it’s now aversive to me.
I don’t want to stand and be recognized at a Dig Pink event.


For those of you who have survived, and feel folded into the sisterhood, I’m all for it.

For those of you who march to remember someone you’ve lost, I support you.

It’s just not me.


Maybe someday it will be.

Maybe not.

For now, we’re at a stalemate here.

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